Catwmn's Cranium

2010-04-12T07:25:00.000-05:00

http://sites.google.com/site/ihlezlgp/pduqsok

2010-04-10T13:07:00.001-05:00

http://sites.google.com/site/litbwujt/moexisu

So...Do You Have Abandonment Issues Yet????

2006-12-04T16:58:00.000-06:00

I know it has been far too long since I updated this blog. The truth is that I don't really write here much anymore...There was a certain someone that I didn't want reading my shit anymore so I just don't write it here anymore...I have another blog now that that person will never be smart enough to find and basically I don't write here anymore....

I did notice that for some reason lately I have been getting hit a lot lately by people searching for the lyrics to some Bob Rivers Christmas song....hmm interesting...

If you want the link to my new blog that I actually post on you will have to email me....and if I trust you I will send it to ya...just kidding...as long as you aren't the idiot psychotic hosebeast that I am avoiding I will send you the link...Until then..

Cat

Technorati : abandonment

Today's Video..

2006-10-29T18:31:00.000-06:00

Gravedigger Video - Dave Matthews Band lyrics

Dave Matthews Band Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

Free Layouts

Technorati : Dave Matthews, Gravedigger

Happy Humpday!!

2006-10-25T09:13:00.000-05:00

I love Wednesdays....it signifies the middle of the week...you are neither at the beginning or at the end....just right smack dab in the middle.

So what are my plans today? Not much...getting my nails done, eyebrows waxed, tanning, filling the gas tank on my car, returning some stuff to wal-mart, and making some phone calls.

That's about it...

Nothing major has happened here in a while. So sad..but I am glad for the lack of complexities and drama in my life right now...things are really good...and I like it that way...

On another note...I am going home to Louisiana on November 8th. I am very excited...it's the first time I have driven that far in over 10 years...I am going by myself so that will be interesting too...that means I can listen to whatever I want to on the radio...stop to pee whenever I need to....AWESOME...Hopefully if I fill my tank here in Texas before I leave I can make it the whole way there without stopping once...that is my goal...pack snacks and drinks for the road in the car with me and drive straight through...we'll see what my bladder has to say about that though...

I am off to do my errands...peace out..

Cat

Technorati : Humpday, Wednesday

Something I Think Everyone Should See...

2006-10-23T19:40:00.000-05:00

Technorati : Democrat, Vote

The Inevitability of Aging...

2006-10-18T21:07:00.000-05:00

I have been pondering the inevitability of aging over the past few days. You see..I am turning 31 on November 3. I know that some of you don't think that is very old at all...and you are right...it's not..

But...it's the oldest I've ever been...

My thoughts on getting older have gone along the lines of getting in shape...getting healthier...quitting smoking..you know the drill..

I'm not getting any younger...

Now's the time...

Right?

It will be easier if I do it all now than to wait until I am 40....right?

I certainly hope so..

I DID go back to the gym today...and I AM wearing a patch as of this moment..(although at any moment I could rip it right off and go chainsmoke a couple..)

I am considering all of this my birthday present to myself...sort of a way to insure that I have another birthday coming after this one...and possibly many more after that...

Technorati : Aging, Older

It's There!!

2006-10-15T20:19:00.000-05:00

I went this morning and checked PostSecret to see if my secret had been posted....

I mailed one in like two months ago and guess what!!

It's THERE!!!

Now it wouldn't be a secret anymore if I told you which one it was so I'm not going to say...but I'm willing to bet that if you know me well enough you can pick it out of the bunch...

Go Here: Post Secret

Technorati : PostSecret

My Pontiac Finally Bit The Dust...

2006-09-27T21:46:00.000-05:00

If you are a regular reader of my blog....or if you know me personally you know that I have been driving a Pontiac Montana for the last 6 years. When I first bought the vehicle it was beautiful, and I loved it..it was the best of the best as far as minivans went at that time..power sliding doors, drop down TV for the kids the whole nine yards....

Well...after the fiasco that happened on the way to Austin this past weekend with the power steering pully and assembly falling off the vehicle and losing the serpentine belt we got it fixed....then the very next day the engine nearly caught on fire taking the kids to school...the repair place said it would cost a small fortune to repair so we decided to plug up the holes that were leaking and take it to trade it in....

Today I am the proud owner of a 2004 Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer Edition. It is white with tan running boards, and tan leather interior. Heated and cooled leather driver and passenger seats. Power brake and gas pedals(adjustable). 6 disc in dash CD player with Sirius Sattelite radio and premium sound system. DVD player in the back for the kids, power folding third row seat, and a sunroof. Oh and this neat reverse sensing system that tells you if you are about to back into something...it's really cool. I am quite possibly in heaven. It has to be one of the most beautiful vehicles I have driven. And I got a GREAT deal on it...

The only major drawback is the gas mileage...but since I hardly go anywhere anyways except to take the kids to and from school and to the store I won't be using that much gas anyways...I rarely even leave conroe to run errands.

Sure...there were other vehicles on the lot....that had less bells and whistles and were cheaper...but...I figured I deserved to drive something that I would actually like since I would be making payments on it...made sense to me...

So...Rest in peace old pontiac...I will not miss you...

Technorati : Expedition, Pontiac

Our Amazingly Wacky Trip...

2006-09-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

We decided at about 3:30 on Saturday afternoon to go to Austin.....so at about 5pm we left headed to Austin to go and see Split Lip Rayfield play their last show in Austin ever for their farewell tour since one of the members has terminal cancer...we had to pick up R's Hubby and Jade on the way and take them with us since R had decided that if nobody else could make up their mind on whether they were going or not she would leave us all behind and go on her own...I don't wanna go into it here except to say...hmm that's weird..
So we were on the road headed to Austin when this really awful storm came upon us...high winds, lightning, the whole nine yards...I even think I heard some hail hitting the car but I can't be sure...
So we get an hour from the house in a town called Steadham outside of Navasota TX.....when the entire powersteering assembly and pully falls off of the van...yes you read that right...FALLS OFF!!!!(Oh and we lost the entire serpentine belt too) which means that we are driving in the dark..in a storm..with no power steering on a curvy ass country road in the middle of nowhere....and since there was no belt the alternator was not charging the battery so we nearly lost the headlights before we found a gas station to pull into...it was really terrifying...
So we are stuck in the middle of nowhere.....and Bart remembers that one of his good friends has a large flatbed truck(big flatbed heavy duty towtruck that is) so he calls him in on a favor....this amazing friend goes to our house, picks up my husband's huge Dodge Hemi truck on his flatbed....brings it to us and switches it out for the broke down van and drops the broke down van off at the repair shop for us...
We made it to Austin at 11:45pm right as Split Lip Rayfield was about to go on stage....
It was an awesome show...I only wish I had gotten there earlier so I could have seen the White Ghost Shivers..
All in all it was a good night...we got to the hotel at about 4am..slept until 7:30 and hauled ass back home to get the kids....
As a matter of fact the van has already been repaired and I have it back...and it was under 300 bucks to fix...
The repair man did tell me however that he had never seen anything like that happen...to a minivan and suggested that I take it to the nearest dealership and trade it in before something else more important falls off going down the road..LOL..
Maybe I will take his advice on that..maybe I will..
Cat

Technorati : Austin, Broke Down, Split Lip Rayfield, White Ghost Shivers

Max Is Home Again

2006-09-22T11:01:00.000-05:00

I just got home from picking Max up from the vet...

Did I ever tell you Max's full name?

Maximus Decimus Meridius....The Gladiator Kitty...

He has truly lived up to his name...and by now he is certainly down to like two or three lives left....

I have to have SEVERAL litterboxes around the house now due to the fact that his bladder is weak now from all of the procedures he has had done to his little body over the past couple of days...and now he is on this expensive ass cat food that you can only get by prescription(which he doesn't like)...and I have to give him two pills a day probably for the rest of his life...and everyone knows how fun it is to get a pill down a cat's throat...

And let's not even discuss how much I have spent at the vet this month between him and the other mama cat that got kittens stuck giving birth....let's just say...it was well over a grand...yep a thousand dollars for some damn cats...but they were so worth it..

But the important thing is that he is alive and well...and he is home...and I am sooo happy..

Welcome Home Max!!

Technorati : Gladiator Kitty, Home, Kitty, Money, Vet, Well

Is This Crap Really Working Or Not??

2006-09-21T10:10:00.000-05:00

I have been on Wellbutrin for close to 3 weeks now...

I thought this stuff was supposed to be an anti depressant.....if it is working...then why am I so depressed today??

Hmm, Let me see.....I got a call from my stepfather this morning at 7:15 from Rome, Italy that he couldn't find my mother and she had not arrived on the shuttle to the hotel from the airport....so naturally I panicked and started trying to find out about her flight and if she had been on it....so for like 2 hours I thought my mother was missing in another country....not good..but she is fine..I called him and he said she had just gotten there..WHEW!!

And then there is my poor kitty cat Max, who is in the kitty hospital....yesterday he was crying a lot and having problems with urination...and the small amount he could go had blood in it...so I rushed him to the vet who told me that he was very sick, had high fever, and a bad infection...and he had a 30% chance of survival...*sigh*

What else could go wrong??

I swear I cannot take one more tradgedy...if my cat doesn't make it they might as well bury me right with him...

I need a vacation..

cat

Technorati : antidepressants, crap, meds, wellbutrin

More Great Info on Burning Man...

2006-09-17T10:02:00.000-05:00

I just talked to Bart and he said he would be open to going to Burning Man...but he wants me to get a few camping trips under my belt first..(I have NEVER been camping for real before..so that might be a good idea before I take on several days in a desert..)

It might not be next september that we get to go...but it is within my 5 year plan....plus I have to come up with some type of artform to contribute to the burningman community...

The 2007 theme is The Green Man....obviously an environmental theme...which totally excites me...I would love to build some type of art car thingy that is solar powered to take out there to ride around on...or some type of piece of art with lots of flashing lights on it that are all solar powered....more to come on that...I am still brainstorming it...

Here is the link to Wikipedia for Burning Man: Burning Man On Wikipedia

This will give you a better idea on the history of Burning Man and what it is all about...the more I read the more excited I get....

Ok back to work on normal life..LOL...that means Laundry and all that stuff...

Peace,

Cat

Technorati : Burning Man

My Next Vacation Will Be....

2006-09-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

I have been doing some research on where I want Bart and I to go on our next road trip that is just the two of us...I want it to be somewhere where anything goes, there is no judgement, there is art, passion, happiness, excitement, and just awesomeness....

I finally found the place....Burning Man...

This is a festival that takes place in September every year in the desert of Nevada...from what I understand people who go and survive it come away from it awakened in their souls and spirits....that is exactly what I need...

It is definitely not a journey for the faint of heart....conditions in the desert are extreme...sometimes dipping below freezing at night, and temps over 100 degrees during the day...with high winds and sandstorms popping up out of nowhere with winds in excess of 40 miles an hour....

You HAVE to bring EVERYTHING you may need to survive with you to the camp.food, water, clothing, first aid supplies, etc. ...RV's are allowed..which is the only way I could do it..but the idea of it sounds amazing....dancing all night....art..fire...it's all there...

I am off to do more research and try to find a way to make it happen...I hope Bart will go for it cause this is totally NOT his thing....maybe he will do it just for me...LOL

Technorati : Burning Man

Incomplete: Kinda How I Feel Today

2006-09-16T11:36:00.000-05:00

So today is my Dad's Birthday....He would have been 58 today if he were still with us..Sadly though he passed away two years ago. I have never felt whole again since that day..

For those of you who are lucky enough to have both of your parents still with you PLEASE treasure them as long as you have them...because once they are gone you will never have the chance again to tell them how much you love them...or what they meant to you...

Cat

Technorati : Grief, Incomplete, Loss

Breakfast Of Champions

2006-09-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

I was so freakin happy this morning when I woke up after the events of last night that I was not motivated at all to eat healthy for breakfast...

That..Plus the fact that there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the house healthy to eat...so I resorted to my teen days when ANYTHING would do...

What did I eat for breakfast you ask??

Get ready..

I can of asparagus, a can of spaghettios, and a mountain dew....

The kids had cereal but I had the ultimate weirdo's breakfast..

And you know what?? It was really good...I haven't eaten asparagus for a LONG time..and I LOVE asparagus...

And the mountain dew was a nice change from the hot coffee I usually drink with my Wellbutrin in the morning.

So there you have it..

My weird and wacky breakfast for this morning..

Cat

Technorati : Asparagus, Mountain Dew, Spaghettios, Wellbutrin

The Responsible Frumpy Girl...

2006-09-16T08:50:00.000-05:00

So last night I was invited to a birthday party at a friends house....her kid was turning 8 and our kids are friends so I figured I would go...

Let me fill in with a little background on this story so you will understand where I am coming from:

R: This is a girl I have known for about 4 years...In the beginning we were inseperable friends...but then she became a raging alcoholic, and her marriage started to fall apart...and she stopped giving a shit about anyone but herself...so naturally we grew apart because I am the complete opposite of that...I am very focused when it comes to my kids, and marriage...and as of lately I don't drink at all..so every conversation we have had over the last year has centered around her getting her "freedom" so that she can "follow her dreams" since she has been caged and held back for so long by her kids and family....(sounds like a fucking nut doesn't she??)

Rose: This is a girl I just met for the first time last night who as far as I can tell is a cleaner(Read: showers every day) version of R. Still an alcoholic due to the large amounts of Jagerbombs(A shot of Jager with a small cup of red bull, and positively nasty if you ask me)that she did last night..but let me get to the story now that you have all of that..

SO....I arrived at R's house last night at around I would say 5pm...the kids started to play and everything was groovy...then this girl Rose comes out and starts talking to me...I had dressed for comfort in my favorite black stretch gauchos and a tye dye shirt so I thought I was relatively cute...my hair was in a ponytail but I had no makeup...I knew it was going to be hot so what was the point?? So about an hour into our conversation Rose looks at me and starts telling me about how I should go lay in a tanning bed and tan since "she could tell I didn't feel beautiful"......

WHAT THE FUCK??? What did she say??

I don't feel beautiful?

How could you tell that just by looking?? And by the way....I don't need to fake bake and wear padded push up bras to feel beautiful...beauty comes from within....at least that's what I always thought...

So needless to say I avoided miss Rose the cunt the rest of the evening...

And as soon as we went home I cried in the bathroom for an hour...

Bart..My husband says it's silly that I let that bitch get to me....but let's face it..I do not have the greatest self esteeem...and it took a serious blow last night...

Why would a complete stranger say something like that to me??

Anyways....I think I am pretty well done with R too...her and Rose did about 12 Jagerbombs and dumped all the kids on me to watch while they went down to the garage to smoke....I guess I got singled out to be the responsible one since I was sober...

Oh well...story of my life I guess...the ugly responsible girl...*sigh*

When did I become the frumpy, serious, sensitive girl...?

I guess I just needed to vent...

Cat

Technorati : Ex-Friend, Frumpy, Jagerbomb

Oh What A Night

2006-09-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

Last night around 9pm my cat Prissy went into labor. She insisted on being on top of me through most of the first kitten's birth...almost like she was afraid of what was happening to her body or something...it's ok...it was fine with me...she got into her birthing basket right before the first kitten was born..a solid white kitten with no tail..so adorable..but the strange part is that when it was out the cat didn't do ANYTHING....she didn't go to try to break the sack, or do anything with it at all. Thank God I had read and printed all of the information I did online over the last couple of weeks to prepare for this event. I instantly knew what to do...I gently broke open the sack....wiped the kitten with a damp warm rag, to stimulate it's breathing reflex until it made it's first cry..then...after the placenta was delivered I tied off the cord, and clipped it, dried it some more and handed it over to mama cat.

Kittens two through four were delivered mostly the same exact way, I had to clean them and clip the cords before she would have anything to do with them.

Kitten number 5 was not so lucky...he was obviously larger than the other 4, and he was back legs first(breech I think) and by the time his entire hindquarters were out his bag had been busted for more than 10 minutes, not good..I pulled gently to try to help her but it was no use...so then I made a call to the local Animal Emergency Clinic to see what they thought I should do...naturally they wanted me to bring her in to see what was going on...

So I loaded her up in the van and hauled ass to the clinic...at 3:15 in the morning...They instantly told me that she was in grave danger....so they took her in the back and removed the kitten....it had not survived...then they did an Xray to see how many more there were and we discovered there were two more but the doppler that they used to check for heartbeats only found one so we knew one of the other kittens was already gone too.

Next they gave her a shot of OXYTOCIN...to stimulate her labor because she was not doing like she was supposed to..and within an hour she had delivered the other two kittens...which one of them didn't make it...and the other had to be cleaned before she would have anything to do with it...

We got home at 6:30 this morning...I still have not been to bed...I am sooo exhausted...

The vet told me that the mother and all of the kittens would have died if I had not stayed with her through her labor...she simply would have let them suffocate in their sacks after birth...so sad...but apparently common with first time mommies..If I had not taken her in to the vet when I did she would have ruptured her uterus trying to deliver that kitten..and would have bled to death internally and I would have been left with 4 kittens to bottlefeed...and a broken heart...Damn...I'm so glad I was here for her...

Anyways...I am slightly delirious right now due to lack of sleep...so I am going to post a pic of mom and babies and go on my merry way to rest for awhile...
Cat

Technorati : Kitten Birth

Update..

2006-09-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

So I decided yesterday I had had quite enough of laying around being unproductive and decided it was time to take this freakin cast off and get back to life.....I mean really...my foot didn't hurt that badly anymore and the cast was actually causing me more discomfort than not having it at all...So my girlfriend took me to CVS(pharmacy) and I got three different ankle support braces to try out at home....then we came home and I braced up...I have a brace with metal suports in the sides with a lighter support brace under it.with a thin ace bandage under that around the center of my foot.....seems to work just fine and I can fit a tennis shoe over it..(YAY!!)

So today I am cruisin around the house catching up on Laundry and housework and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!! I HATE laying around...I would be really screwed if I ever really injured myself and HAD to lay around..I would lose my mind...

I do however have a slight limp, but I can manage to sweep and vacuum and do general cleaning and laundry and cooking just fine..(which I am sure Bart is thankful for)....

I am going to give it another week before I attempt to get on the treadmill again...and I certainly won't be up to running again for awhile...but I am hoping to be able to at least power-walk....

Today I am going to bust out the dumbells and do some upperbody lifting...and abdominal work...I just wish I could do cardio...maybe I could go to the gym and ride the recumbent bike?? We'll see..

That's all for now....

Cat

Technorati : Update

I Am Such A KLUTZ!!!

2006-09-07T17:45:00.000-05:00

So yesterday Bart and I went to the new Quiznos by our house...

On the way out I managed to trip on an uneven piece of the pavement and fall on my shoulder, face, and palms of my hands...my palms are now black and blue, my top lip is split(thank God my teeth are ok)..I have a skinned up right knee, and I managed to tear all of the ligaments and tendons in my left ankle and foot....VERY PAINFUL...

So I am in a removable Cast now...Who knows how long I will be down with this...doctor says no weight on it for two weeks...stay on the crutches..HA!! Does he not know I have 3 little boys?? I already got up last night and made dinner...How's that for Supermom??

Here's my Cast..

So basically I am supposed to lay around for a few weeks...Today was the first day and it's already old...
Obviously I won't be blogging much because there won't be much to blog about..LOL
So...Just wanted to let ya know..
Cat

Technorati : Klutz

Weekend Update....

2006-09-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

I had family in town this weekend....It was good to see everyone..

Saturday night we all went out to dinner and had mexican food, Sunday morning we went swimming at the hotel and then to lunch....it was a really good visit..

Today is day 4 on the Wellbutrin XL. For some reason today it didn't feel the same as the other days I have been on it...I do know that I am now an EXTREME LIGHTWEIGHT when it comets to Alcohol. I had 1 rum and coke last night and was pretty toasty....and today I actually had a hangover..from ONE DRINK!! So...Maybe that's the reason it didn't feel the same today as it has the past few days...

I think next time I get a script I am going to ask for the Wellbutrin XL 300Mg. I am taking the 150 right now and if they make me feel this great....I can only imagine what it will be like on 300....at least that's my opinion...

It was a good weekend...but I am glad tomorrow the kids go back to school and I am going to the Gym as soon as they are gone...I figure it's a good day to get started back on all of that again...

Peace Out..

Cat

Wellbutrin Day 2...Wow!!

2006-09-02T11:16:00.000-05:00

So today I took the wellbutrin with some food as usual....

Within 30 minutes I felt like I had done a BIG hit of speed....it was kinda awesome actually...now I feel good, and there is no nausea today...no dizziness, and no vision disturbance either...just this good energized feeling....

The other thing I noticed is that nothing tastes like it used to...my coffee this morning was fine but the cigarettes, and everything else taste like crap...even minty gum tastes bad....but....maybe this will curb my eating some...makes no sense to eat chocolate and ice cream if it tates like ass...right??

I have gotten so much done today....I told Bart these were my Superwoman pills...as long as this keeps up I won't have any trouble working out or getting things done because it is hard to sit still for long...

So...Off I go again like a blur to get some more stuff done..

Cat

Technorati : Wellbutrin

Welcome To Wellbutrinland....Population: Me...

2006-09-01T14:44:00.000-05:00

So I started my first dose of Wellbutrin XL today....I did like it said and took with with some food so it wouldn't upset my stomach....well it did fine...that is...until I ate lunch..

Now I am teetering between nausea and this weird crampy feeling in my stomach....the nausea is never bad enough that I actually feel like I am going to ralph but it's there nonetheless...

I also have the other weird side effect of slight dizziness everyonce in a while and a little vision disturbance...weird but not bad enough to make me not take the stuff...

You see...I REALLY wanna quit smoking for good this time...so my doc told me to take this stuff for two weeks to let it build up it's levels in my system and then go on the patch....and most people I have talked to say this stuff has the added benefit of helping you lose weight(mainly because everything you put in your mouth tastes like ass..including cigarettes)....and supposedly it can make you REALLY HORNY!! Now that' wouldn't be a bad side effect would it?? I guess unless you were a monk or priest..LOL

So...I am almost at the end of day one and other than the slight twinges of nausea and dizziness so far so good....

So I am off in a few to go and get the boys and then I am home to clean some more since I am having company tomorrow afternoon...Peace Out..

Cat

Here is a really good site about Wellbutrin that I found...Click Here

Technorati : Wellbutrin

Fibroids...

2006-08-31T15:02:00.000-05:00

Apparently I do not have cancer...(thank God!)

What I do have however are fibroid tumors in my uterus....(not fun..but WAY better than cancer)..

They are treatable and usually don't turn into cancer or anything like that...

I am definitely celebrating tonight....

Also..My thyroid is larger than it's supposed to be so they are running some tests for that as well...

I will write more later after I get done doing the happy dance...

Cat

Technorati : Fibroids

Warm Delights To The Rescue..

2006-08-30T21:02:00.000-05:00

So yeah....I've been really depressed today....and weepy...and given what COULD be said to me tomorrow at the doctors office....terrified....

Let me introduce you to my new best friend...

Betty Crocker Warm Delights....these heavenly little individual servings of gooey bliss....totally not diet friendly....(who gives a shit right now right?)

I discovered these marvelous things a few weeks back....and bought a couple to have in the pantry...needless to say I have had at least one a day since...today I had 3....all at one time...in one sitting.....for dinner...

I don't even want to think about how many calories or fat grams I consumed....all I know is that either the chocolate or the sugar one made me feel marginally better than I did before....

Don't ask me why this whole cancer thing has me so freaked right now....I know that if that's the case it's totally treatable...(providing it was caught in time..) but I think that the treatment itself is what scares the hell out of me..not the cancer itself....

You see...the internet is a beautiful research tool....anything you want to know you can find if you know how to properly search for it....

In my case I wanted to know what the usual treatments were for Cervical and Uterine Cancer....

So off to Google I went....and here's what I found after a week of deep digging...

Most of the time a radical hysterectomy is performed, (with an abdominal incision instead of the nice bikini cut for usual hysterectomies)along with the removal of the ovaries and tubes...(and usually the cervix and top third of the vagina..).then during that same surgery the Gyn/Oncologist will usually section the lymph nodes in the pelvic cavity for pathology to see if they have cancer cells in them as well..(this is NOT good....as it means that definitely the cancer has spread..)then there is a pelvic wash performed where the doctor washes all of the organs remaining in the pelvic cavity and sends that fluid to pathology too... Usually the patient is allowed to recover for 4-6 weeks from this surgery before they start Chemotherapy and Radiation....

But let's talk for a minute about the prospect of surgical menopause....when you are 30 and have your ovaries removed you are then in menopause....overnight...no easing in...no gradual giving out of the ovaries...we are talking one day you are not in menopause...and the next you are full blown....hot flashes..the whole nine yards...scary thought huh?? And for some women who get cancer Hormone Replacement Therapy isn't an option...due to the fact that something in the drugs can cause a faster reoccurence of their cancer...nice thought huh??

On to the Chemotherapy...

Surprisingly enough the cocktail of drugs used in Chemotherapy for these types of cancer usually doesn't cause hair loss(which was a huge relief for me) but the side effects are nonetheless the same as most Chemotherapy drugs....vomiting, fatigue, and generally shitty feeling....But keep in mind that if the first cocktail doesn't have the desired affect then they move on to the big dogs....and those definitely make you lose your hair....(I have already researched wigs don't worry I refuse to be bald!!)

And then there's the effects of the radiation....

There are two types of radiation treatments used in these types of cancers....external rads, and internal rads....the external aren't so bad....can cause minor burns to the skin and serious diarrhea issues.....but the internal rads...that's a whole other ballgame...internal rads can totally degrade the "girly no touchy spot" meaning NO MORE BIG O's....which is seriously depressing being I am only 30!!

But I guess that if you are still alive after it's all over you count your blessings and move on....but it's just so much for me to wrap my head around right now...

So for now I am going to bed....I am going to try not to think about any of this anymore and get some sleep...I have the appointment at 10am in the morning....I will come back and post what happens as soon as I know...

Peace out..

Cat

Gone Away....In Honor Of Today...

2006-08-30T18:28:00.000-05:00

Gone Away Video - Offspring lyrics

Offspring Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure.com

The Offspring-Gone Away

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I cant deal its so unfair

And it feels
And it feels like
Heavens so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that youve gone away

Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and hail marys
Cant bring back whats taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would

And it feels
And it feels like
Heavens so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that youve gone away

Two Years....

2006-08-30T16:20:00.000-05:00

It's been two years today since my father passed away...

I knew this day was coming for a long time and tried my best to prepare myself for it but it still sucked really bad anyways...

I scheduled a TON of appointments for this week to keep me busy but it didn't work...I was not able to "fool" myself into acting like it was a normal day...

I find it very hard to believe that it has been two years since he passed...hell to me it seems like just months...strange how time flies when your NOT having fun.....

Tonight I am going to let myself have a good cry over a rum and coke, take a bubble bath and then go to bed....I thought things were supposed to hurt less as time passed but it seems that the longer it's been the more I miss him...(damn therapists dont' know what the hell they are talking about)

I have an appointment tommorrow with a Gyno Doc...I will find out finally what is going on with my female organs and what can be done about it..(I'm really hoping that he will just say "let's get em' out").I do not have a GOOD feeling about this appointment at all....as a matter of fact it feels much like a VERY BAD thing to me...but I will cross my fingers anyways and say a prayer...

On a sidenote....I had a Dermatologist appointment today to have that pesky rash checked out....apparently I have a skin fungal infection..(yay) So now I have to take these pills and use a cream for the next six months...and it could leave permanant scars..(yay again) And listen to the instructions on the pills....take one tablet and wait an hour...then force a hard sweat for 3 hours....then wait at least 4 hours before bathing....then wait a week and repeat....

Apparently I take the pill and it takes an hour to get into the bloodstream....then I work out really hard and sweat a lot and it comes out into my skin, and treats the rash....strange huh?? Hopefully it will work...

This is what I was diagnosed with..Tinea Versicolor

Technorati : Anniversary

Stressed Out..

2006-08-26T08:30:00.000-05:00

So the last couple of days I have been totally stressed out..

I have some medical appointments coming up next week that have me VERY worried, and nervous...I pray that everything tests out ok though...because if not my life is about to take a SERIOUS nosedive into the can...

I have been having "lady" issues for the past 3 years....it has reached a point now where I am ready to have a FULL hystorectomy and get it over with....I know it's drastic measures but with the crap that's been going on with me lately I would much rather have full menopause now than what I am dealing with...

I go on Thursday and should know shortly after that if my Dr. will even consider it..I have asked/begged for the last several years to just do the surgery since obviously I am not planning to have any more kids...but he has always told me I was too young and it was too radical to do that....

I have had several female organ cancer scares over the last decade....I am sick of worrying about it and figure if there are no more female organs there can't be any cancer there...makes sense to me....somehow the doctor doesn't see my side of the fence the way I do...plus living with the "cycles" I have (if you could even call them that since more often than not I am "visiting Aunt Flo" Seriously I counted last month and Aunt Flo stayed for 16 days....not fun..)it would be a huge blessing not to have to deal with that anymore....

So if anyone actually reads this please say a prayer for me...and pray for the doctor to finally see things my way....I have already told my mother that if he won't do the surgery I will find a doctor who will....I cannot live the way I have been living any longer...this is totally miserable....the pain, and exhaustion of it all is too much to bear and still be an active mommy with my boys...seriously..

I have several friends who have had Hystorectomies and they all tell me their quality of life was MUCH better afterwards....no more PMS, no more periods....and that alone would be worth all the money in the world to me...

So that's where my head is at today and until Thursday...I will keep you all updated....Promise..

Technorati : Stressed, Tired

This Is My Song For Tha' Day....

2006-08-24T20:19:00.000-05:00

It's an old one....but one of my personal favorites...

Enjoy..

Eleven - Reach Out
Music Video Codes By Music Video Code

I Finally Did It!!

2006-08-23T20:57:00.000-05:00

I finally mailed in my secret to postsecret today.

For those of you who don't know what PostSecret is it's this community art project where you make a postcard with a secret on it...(it mus be personal, and it must be a secret that nobody else knows, and it must be YOUR secret) then you mail it to the address and visit the site every sunday looking for it...

Go HERE to visit the site....there are new secrets posted every sunday and this site has changed my life..(Thanks again Esther for the link...)

Anyways....I will be patiently waiting to see if it shows up on the site...I will post here when it finally does...

Cat

Technorati : PostSecret

Back By Popular Demand....

2006-08-23T08:47:00.000-05:00

Ok so I got the emails asking where the hell I had fallen off the face of the earth to....well here I am...I have been crazy busy since school started....

I now have 3 count'em 3 kids with homework....which takes up a whopping 4 hours in the afternoon from 4-8 and then baths and bedtime...(somewhere in there we fit in dinner)

Yesterday I spent the day with a girlfriend yesterday and went with her while she got a tattoo....it was cool, and I think I found where I am getting mine done at..

Today I am staying home and getting some things done around the house and then I am off to the post office to mail off some packages...

I will post more later when I get a chance...I am off to workout now..

Cat

First Day Of Shool....

2006-08-16T09:23:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of school for my kids...

The morning went off without a hitch...surprisingly enough...

I had all their clothes laid out last night and they were bathed before bed...this way when we got up this morning all we had to do was eat and get dressed and go...it was so relaxed and unrushed this morning which is a BIG switch from last year...we will definitely hold on to that routine from here on out..

Here are some pics of the boys in their first day of school attire..

Austin didn't really want to wake up...but eventually he did...

Christian eating Breakfast..

Aaron Eating Breakfast..

Gee...Don't they look happy!

So that's this morning in a nutshell...
I am going to visit a friend and hang out with NO KIDS for a little bit...
Will update later...

Technorati : First Day Of Shool, Photos

Oh MY GAWD!!! It's 80's Techno Day!!

2006-08-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

I was doing some surfing of the net today for some old school 80's Techo and look what I found....Makes me wanna load the ipod and go for a run....
The Headhunter song is a classic...and so is the American Soviets...I was only 13 when I started listening to this stuff....brings back lots of memories..

Front 242- Headhunter CCCP- American Soviets

Technorati : 80's Music

If Only It Were That Easy...

2006-08-14T09:34:00.000-05:00

Technorati : Weight Loss

48 Hours...

2006-08-14T08:34:00.000-05:00

Just 48 more hours til the kids go back to school....I will be taking them to class in 48 hours....I am downright giddy with excitement....

Here is what I am planning for Wednesday after I take the kids to school....

See?? Nothing...Absolutely Nothing....I am bringing my big lazy butt home and plopping it on the couch and enjoying the silence..

Now Thursday, That's a horse of a different color...I am hoping to get back to the Gym, and Weight Watchers, and my "normal" kids are in school routine...but as for Wednesday..I am going to be a lazy sloth....

Today I am planning on getting some more housework done and getting the kids school supplies packed into their backpacks...

That's it..I may update later on if I get a chance...

Peace out..

Technorati : Back To School

An Epiphany Of Sorts...

2006-08-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

I was in Kroger this evening with Bart and we were shopping...I was particularly crabby and he asked why, to which I replied, "Because I don't feel good!, and I'm tired.."

And then it hit me....I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I FELT GOOD!!!!

I mean feeling good...the kind of good that puts a smile on your face....the kind of good where you feel energized after a night's sleep, the kind of good to where you just want to go "aaah I feel great!!"

Nope...been a LONG time since I felt good....so long in fact I would say it's been at least a couple of years...

That's not good is it? To totally feel fatigued, and braindead, and irritated all the time!!

No...I don't think so...but it's the sad and honest truth...

Technorati : blah, fatigue, sluggish

Almost Ready To Begin...

2006-08-13T14:02:00.000-05:00

We have finished all of the clothes shopping for the kids as of yesterday...I wish I had known to start saving at the beginning of the summer for this because it has totally wiped us out financially and we haven't even bought supplies yet..

We go to meet the teacher night tomorrow night and see which teachers which kids got...(maybe they will say they have enough supplies..or maybe that's wishful thinking..LOL)

Anyways..I am finishing up on getting all of their stuff washed and sorted and in their days of the week clothes organizers I got for their closets....

So far for all three kids I have two full weeks of school clothes prematched, with socks and underwear sorted into the proper day on their closet sorter...Yippee for me!! Now if I could just keep it up like that there will be much less stress on school mornings..

I am off to do some more preparations and feed myself something as I am starting to get the shakes I am so hungry..

Cya laterz..

Technorati : School, Shopping

I Can See Clearly Now...

2006-08-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I spent the entire day in my kitchen going through my cabinets and getting rid of stuff that I didn't need anymore...I am sitting here looking at 7 boxes of tupperwares with no lids, or lids with no containers, or pitchers without lids, or just general infomercial junk that I don't need..

I had these two huge stainless steel shelving units in my kitchen that were a catch all for everything that came into the house...it was really sad...I threw away so much stuff yesterday that I have reduced that to ONE stainless steel shelving unit that hardly has anything on it....

And now you can open any cabinet or drawer in my kitchen and clearly see what it contains and find what you need without ANYTHING falling and hitting you in the head..

Today I am going to clean out the refrigerator, pantry, and the top of the refrigerator and do the same thing there...I think the food bank in town will be happy after I am done today because I am SURE there are tons of food items in the pantry I will NEVER cook...

So off I go to get back to my work...just thought I would post an update...

Cat

Technorati : Declutter, Recycle

Intrigued but also Terrified..

2006-08-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

CONAIR 208 Infiniti Tourmaline Hair Designer and Dryer

Have you seen these things? I am both intrigued and terrified of these things. The theory is that if you have one of these babies you can straighten your hair WITHOUT a straightener...

I spent a hundred dollars about a year ago on a VERY EXPENSIVE CHI straightener....I love what it does for my hair, and I love the way my hair looks when it is TOTALLY straight...but I don't like the amount of time it takes to get it the way I like it...

So I am thinking of getting one of these at least to try out..You just blow dry your hair and straighten it at the same time...sounds intriguing, but also looks dangerous like it could pull your hair out too...we'll see...

This is one of those things I imagine all the "high maintenance bitches" use...LOL

Cat

Technorati : Conair, Hair Styling, Tourmaline

Decluttering and Paring Down...

2006-08-10T09:20:00.000-05:00

So I did some Paring Down, or Decluttering I guess you could say to the blog.

I had received some complaints about how long it was taking for the page to load and the culprit seems to have been the flicker badge, and the tagboard, among other javascript sidebar items...So I took them off...and the page DOES load MUCH FASTER now....which is good...

Tell me what you think.

Technorati : Declutter, clean up, reduce

High Maintenance Bitches...

2006-08-08T19:13:00.000-05:00

I have been doing some thinking lately about these girls that you would categorize as "High Maintenance"

Tina and I were talking today about my thinking about becoming one of these girls....

Then I started thinking about all the work involved in being.."High Maintenance"

Weekly facials(60-100.00 a week)

Weekly manicures and pedicures(for acrylics this would be around 50.00 a week for both mani and pedi)

Daily blowouts on the hair(free if you can do it yourself and have the time..)

Monthly hairstyling by a Pro(this includes color and styling at around 200.00)

Waxing(and we're not just talking eyebrows...we're talking the whole ball of wax)..and this would be required monthly.. (Legs, Brazilian, eyebrows, and upper lip 150.00 monthly)

Gym workouts with trainer 5 days a week..(45.00 a session X 5 = 225.00 a week)

Tanning at least 3 days a week..(30.00 a month for unlimited tanning where I go)

So without makeup costs and hair product costs that totals 1,880.00 a month to be high maintenance...

And that doesn't include the Louis Vuitton bags, and Gucci Sunglasses, and expensive clothes...

OR the Lexus SUV...

SO...even if I wanted to be one of these girls I certainly couldn't afford it....

But I guess I can dream....

Tina and I were joking around that when the kids go back to school we were going to become "high maintenance bitches"....

Or as close to it as we could afford....

We'll see what happens....LOL.

Technorati : High Maintenance

Remember That Nice Camera I Just Got??

2006-08-08T16:27:00.000-05:00

Well I was looking for it yesterday to take some more pictures of Tina's leg as it was healing and I couldn't find it anywhere...I asked the kids if they had seen it and they all denied ever seeing the damn thing..

So I started tearing the house apart looking for it, I had just put it on the coffee table that morning in it's case and walked away for just a minute when it disappeared...

Guess where I found it?

Behind Christian's bed...yep, broken of course, the zoom lens was stuck in the extended position and there was an error message on the screen..

Christian naturally denied touching it but there was evidence....

He had taken pictures of his hat, and his feet with it before breaking it...

So I called canon and they said because the damage was caused by the camera being dropped on it's lens it would not be covered under warranty and the repair would cost 200bucks!!

I am sending it off tomorrow...I called the site I ordered from and tried to get an RMA but they said that they test all equipment before shipping it out and they KNEW the camera was fine when I got it so they would not exchange it for another camera...BUMMER!!

I will never again leave it on the table, that thing will be in my purse, or on a high shelf for the rest of the duration of my ownership with it...

Technorati : Broken Stuff, Camera, Canon Powershot

Stay Away From Freakin' Spiders!!

2006-08-06T19:34:00.000-05:00

My good friend Tina was in her yard on monday moving around some bricks and debris, and apparently she was bitten by a Brown Recluse Spider. She didn't know she had been bitten until Wednesday when her leg began to swell and get really sore. She noticed that there was a small hole with some black stuff in the center. So she called and made a doctor's appointment. Unfortunately the appointment wasn't until Friday.

When she went into the doctor her leg was so infected and swollen that the doctor said she couldn't touch her until she had taken antibiotics. So she was sent home on Antibiotics and told to come back on Saturday to see if the doctor could open the wound and drain it. (Yuck)

Here is what her leg looked like on Friday..

So Tina stayed with me on Friday night so I could care for her and I took her back to the doctor on Saturday morning. It was a VERY hard morning for us all. The doctor shot her leg with some numbing stuff,(Lidocaine I think) and then opened the hole with an X shaped incision and pushed and pressed until a LOT of nasty stuff came out....then she cleaned it out and packed it with this stringy yellow gauze stuff...and then she told me....that I would have to take the gauze out every 7 hours, irrigate the wound, and repack it....And seriously I didn't know if I would be able to do it but guess what?? I have done it now TWICE!! And yes it is hard, because I love my girl and don't want to hurt her, but if this infection continues to spread she would end up in the hospital and I don't want that...so I do this for her to keep that from happening...

Here is what her leg looked like on Saturday when we were waiting for the doctor to Lance the bite...

Below are pictures of what her leg looked like at 2pm on Saturday when we cleaned and repacked her wound the first time after it had been lanced...

Below are pictures of what the leg looked like today when I cleaned and repacked it this morning. MUCH BETTER!! Apparently we are doing SOMETHING right!!

See how the redness has gone down?? The packing from the night before is still in..

Bart took some pictures of me while I was packing the area back up...Enjoy!!

See? This is what REAL FRIENDS are for!!!

See?? Now wasn't that fun??
I have to clean and repack it again tonight so I will update with new pictures then...
Peace Out!
Cat

Technorati : Brown Recluse, First Aid, Spider, Wound

Thank GOD It's Friday!!

2006-08-04T10:10:00.000-05:00

I am so glad it's Friday....This week has seemed to both Fly and Crawl at the same time...

Yesterday my father in law took the kids to the beach and I got to spend most of the day cleaning in my office and getting rid of papers that I swear were a decade old...I'm serious..I am that much of a packrat...

It's Tax Free weekend this weekend for school stuff so we are going to go and take care of that this weekend...school supplies alone will cost us 150 bucks for the 3 boys so having no tax on that will be nice, and then there's the issue of clothes for 3 kids, I don't even want to think about how much that's going to cost...but we'll take care of it somehow..

Today I am planning on doing some more decluttering, and a walk on the treadmill, and this afternoon I am babysitting for a friend while she goes to the doctor..

And then tonight I think I may just open that bottle of Bacardi Vanilla on top of the refrigerator and make me a nice stiff drink....hey..it's friday...I am entitled to have a little fun aren't I?

Here are some pictures from the beach yesterday....looking at them reminds me of just how cute my boys are..

This is Austin with a bucket of shells....looking all surly and stuff..

This is Aaron with his bag of shells....apparently there weren't enough buckets to go around..LOL

You would never guess they are twins would you? They look nothing alike to me..but I swear it..they're twins!(Christian and Aaron)

Well, I gotta get to work if I am going to accomplish anything today...peace out...and I will update later on if I get a chance...
Cat

Technorati : Friday, Weekend, Woo Hoo!!

For Some Reason I Can't Stop Listening To This Song...

2006-08-03T19:20:00.000-05:00

This song is by the Deftones and I totally love it...I have probably listened to this song over a hundred times today while I was cleaning...

Technorati : Change, Deftones, Music, Song

Humpday Already!!

2006-08-02T12:45:00.000-05:00

So it's Wednesday...it feels like this week is flying by!

I have to go today and register the kids for school, which I am VERY excited about....school starts in two weeks on the 16th! Hooray!! I can finally have a life again!

I have spent the past couple of days setting up my routines from the Flylady program. For those of you who have never heard of Flylady it is an amazing system. When I am following the program like I am supposed to my home seems to clean itself.

The theory is that by doing small things each day in routines it doesn't pile up and become a HUGE mess..which is the state my home is in now...

Flylady has a book out that I own and I have read several times...I pulled it off the shelf again this week to refresh myself again since this time I am planning on sticking to the routines for good....

Sink Reflections: Overwhelmed? Disorganized? Living in Chaos? The FlyLady's Simple FLYing Lessons Will Show You How to Get Your Home and Your Life in Order--and It All Starts with Shining Your Sink!

Here is the basic description of how Flylady works...

You start out by first "shining your sink", this means that you empty the sink out first..(duh) and scrub the hell out of it until it gleams...for me this took comet, a razor knife(for the goo around the edge) and some bleach....then your initial goal is to make sure that every night before you go to bed your sink is shiny and empty to greet you the next morning...

The theory behind the shiny sink is that it will be contagious...like a smile..it will spread through the whole house..which is true for me...once I got the sink thing down..my cabinets stayed clean, and then it spread to the stove, and then the floors....and before I knew it the whole house was clean daily...but you have to follow the routines...which was very tough for me at first because I am a total procrastinator....

I have 3 basic routines for each day....

Morning Routine:

Wake up and do self care,then get dressed, then coffee and email, then wake the kids and feed them, then feed myself and take my supplements, then dress the kids, and get them off to school. ( I also start the laundry in the morning, and do light cleaning in the bathrooms, and make all the beds and generally pick up most of the house so that when we leave in the morning for school the house is already straight for the day)

Afternoon Routine:

This routine starts at 11am with lunch for me and my afternoon supplements, followed by a walk on the treadmill during my soaps, then I spend 45 minutes doing some deep cleaning in the house, followed by 15 minutes of speed decluttering also known as the "27 Fling Boogie"...The 27 Fling Boogie is fun..you set a timer for 15 minutes, and grab a large black trashbag and pick a room...then you go in there and for 15 minutes you toss stuff into the bag that either is garbage, or you don't need it anymore, or it just doesn't bring you joy anymore....My ultimate goal is to be able to walk through my home someday and only have items that bring me joy...I know that sounds silly but if you saw my home right now it is piled high with clutter that seems to suck all of the joy out of me..

The rest of the afternoon routine is that I take something out for dinner, finish the laundry, and pick the kids up from school and do homework, and stuff..

Evening Routine:

This routine is the heart of Flylady's system...I make dinner, and then totally clean the kitchen including sweep the floor, then set the coffee pot, and shine the sink, bathe the kids, lay out their clothes for the next day and get everything ready for in the morning including their lunches packed....this makes mornings much easier..since most of the work is already done...

After a few months of following the routines the house seems to be free of clutter (for the most part) and free of dirt!! And you never get overwhelmed with things piling up because they don't if you are following your routines...

I would highly suggest the Flylady program to anyone who is finding it hard to manage their home...I know that when I am following my routines things are much easier and I am much less stressed..

Anyways...I gotta go do some more stuff...I will post more later if anything else interesting comes to mind..

Cat

Technorati : Cleaning, Clutter, Flylady, Humpday, Organizing, Routines

Photoblog from Yesterday's Photos

2006-08-01T09:35:00.000-05:00

This is one of my beautiful kitty cats Max. He's so pretty!!

This is Prissy one of my other beautiful kitties...She has no tail..

This is a Rock we have for decoration on our porch railing...

This is Austin doing his impression of The Rock from WWF.

This is Christian with Cheeto Cheese still on his face from lunch.

Playing with the Black and White setting on the camera..

Aaron with Chip Dust on his face too....Should have used the red eye reduction.

This is my Pimped Out Golf cart...Cool huh?

This is a photo of a statue we have in our front yard...

Here are Aaron and Christian sitting on the couch...Dang I guess their faces are STILL dirty..

Technorati : Kids, Pets, Photos

Digital Cameras...A Comparison..

2006-08-01T08:42:00.000-05:00

I was playing around with that camera yesterday and realized what a turd it really is....so I went to amazon to read the reviews on it....it got some of the lowest reviews of any 8mp digital camera on the market..

Samsung Digimax S800 8.4MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Zoom (Silver)

So this is the camera I have now.....It takes two double A batteries, which it drains in about 6 pictures...and then you turn the camera off for a minute and the battery meter is back up to full power...strange...

Canon Powershot S80 8MP Digital Camera with 3.6x Wide Angle Optical Zoom

This is the camera I just placed an order for yesterday...I figured that since it got such rave reviews on Amazon it had to be a good camera...(and don't worry I didn't pay 800 bucks for it like Amazon was selling it for.it was under 400 bucks at another place I found it, with an extra battery pack, and free shipping 2nd day air....how could I pass that up?

I will be following this post up with some of the shots taken with the Samsung Camera yesterday..

Technorati : Digital Photography, Kids, Pets, Photos

A Clip From The New Camera..

2006-07-31T16:08:00.000-05:00

I got a camera today and it takes videos...it's not the best quality for video, but it's 30 frames per second..and the camera is 8.1MP. Which is WAY better than the crappy camera I had before...I am still trying to figure it all out but I promise to post some good pics as soon as I do..

Happy Monday Morning!!

2006-07-31T09:32:00.000-05:00

Yes today is Monday.....I awoke this morning with the hopes that I would have a highly productive day. I have my to-do list right here with me....and I am actually feeling halfassed ok today....so far so good...(we'll see how long that lasts once the kids are up to their usual antics)

I was browsing around some pictures I had on my computer this morning and found one that fits today to a T.

I have been having a little trouble lately getting quality sleep but thanks to caffeine I can actually function...for the most part...

I will post more later on after I get some things done...just wanted to pop in and say hello..
Cat

Comparison...The Good...The Bad..And The Ugly...

2006-07-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

I noticed something about myself last night that I found unsettling. I have this terrible habit when I am out in public of comparing myself to other women that are around me...A sort of sizing up if you want to look at it that way....

Last night while we were out at the club I was surrounded by women who had money...and lots of it..(Houston is full of very wealthy people).who had obviously had plastic surgery, or botox, or other procedures done...and some of them were natural beauties...and for a moment I almost let it make me feel ugly...notice I said ALMOST...

I found myself trying to compare myself to them...(which I know is unhealthy) but it's hard not to do...and when I had finished checking off the lists in my head the comparison was obviously not in my favor...(looks wise)

But when I started to think more about this this morning I realized that it's ok....it's ok that I don't have fake boobs, or a spray on tan, or perfect skin...because I am me....I am low maintenance...and I think generally people like me because I am "real" there are no masks or facades with me....it's Cat that you get and if you don't like it..oh well..get over it....I think generally people find me approachable and easy to talk to..and at the end of the day it's what's on the inside that counts....

It reminds me of a metaphor I will try to describe here....

There are these two houses, both are essentially the same size and square footage....one has an exterior that is obviously showing some wear for the weather...but the inside of the house is filled with love and caring, and warmth...and the feeling that you get when you go inside is one of acceptance and happiness.

The other house however has had a lot of exterior work done to make it LOOK good on the outside...new paint, new shutters, and even a new walkway....but when you go inside and look deeper you will notice that the pipes are rusted, and the plumbing is in disrepair, the air conditioning is broken, and none of the appliances work...and there is tension, and turmoil in the air...

Which house would you want to be? For me the choice is easy...I would rather show a little wear and tear and still be myself, and have that inner peace. That being said there is nothing wrong with exercise and diet to try to make yourself healthier and in turn look better...I am all for that....but when I really think about all of that surgery and injections...I have to say that if you are that insecure about yourself (and believe me I have felt that way from time to time)to feel like you need to go under the knife to be accepted..then you need to find a new crowd to hang with..because those people are NOT your friends...and they have issues of their own...

I have had my fair share of struggles with self esteem and body image issues in my life...but I have been working hard on all of that lately...and self acceptance is one of my biggest goals....after all if you don't accept and love yourself how in the world can you expect anyone else to?? It has been a HARD struggle though...motherhood is stressful and takes a toll on the body, and the mind...and it's easy for moms to just put their own self care needs aside in favor of caring for their family...I am guilty of it myself...but I realized lately that if I didn't start taking care of myself then I wouldn't be in good enough condition to care properly for anyone else....Scary thought huh??

I feel like this past year has given me a new sense of respect for my body...it has changed a lot since I turned 30...and it was terrifying at first...but I feel more at home in my own skin today than I ever have...sure I would love to lose a little weight, and take better care of myself....but go under the knife?? I think not...let the gravity take hold...that's what wonderbras are for...

The Gourds At Continental Club Houston TX

2006-07-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

Last night Bart and I had the pleasure of going to the Continental Club to see The Gourds.
They were awesome as usual...I only wish their set hadn't ended so soon. They were actually the opening group for another group called "Big Smith". I was not impressed with Big Smith..and I thought it was funny that the opening band(the Gourds) Packed the house full and as soon as they were done and Big Smith took the stage the place seemed to empty out rather quickly(including Bart and I and Jade)..

The night all in all was very good though...we started out by going to Mai's Vietnamese Restaurant in Downtown Houston and eating Spring Rolls and Chicken Fried Rice with lots of Peanut Sauce....and then headed to The Continental Club(which is within walking distance) to see the Gourds.

Surprisingly enough I drank only one beer at the bar....the rest of the night I drank Coke and water....yes I know it is odd for me to go out to a bar and not drink...but I was already so tired due to lack of sleep the night before that I couldn't imagine drinking while I was that tired...I surely would have fallen asleep standing up...

I am still very tired today even though I slept last night....I guess I am getting too old to stay up that late at night...

Anyways...I have a lot of stuff I would like to do today, but I'm not sure yet if I will make it off the couch..LOL. Only time will tell what will happen in that but if I am feeling energetic enough later I will come back online and post what I DID get done..if anything...

Chronic Exhaustion

2006-07-29T08:49:00.000-05:00

Chronic Exhaustion- The feeling you get when you do the same old shit every day and every night for months on end. This is the condition I am suffering from lately...mixed with this terrible boredom..and a wee bit of depression/rage/sadness....

I know..it sounds like the same old shit...different day..Cat's sad, poor Cat...

But really...I would challenge anyone who would like to know what it's like to live in my shoes to find the 3 most rambunctious little boys on the face of the earth....and shut themselves up in a house for damn near 3 months with these boys....and then add to that the fact that due to the rambunctiousness of the boys that they can't take them anywhere in public for fear that they will embarrass you....or break something...or break themselves....and then add to that that if you turn your back for even a second you will end up with a wall peeled of all it's wallpaper, or a toilet clogged by a toy, or something dumped all over the floor somewhere..

I have done some things this summer to try to remedy my situation....I bought a pool...and we played and played in it until it got old...and besides who wants to go out in to hundred plus degree temperatures to go swimming and risk burning their skin off in the sun?

I have rearranged furniture...maybe in some strange way I was trying to make the house feel like somewhere else...makes sense to me...but it didn't work...it still feels like the same old place...

I have cleaned things....God knows I feel like I have spent the entire summer cleaning something or other...what I wouldn't give to go somewhere that was already clean for a couple of days, and have a maid pick up after me...I would give my right arm for a spa trip for a week....but in reality it's never going to happen...mainly because it's too expensive...and who has thousands of dollars to blow on a spa trip? Certainly not me...

And if anyone leaves a comment saying.."But Cat..You could have a spa week right in your own home.. Take bubble baths, do facials, do pedicures and manicures...." I will come through the screen and knock your damn teeth out....Yes...of course I could do all of that here in my house...but it wouldn't be the same soaking in a bubble bath with a little boy standing there telling me that his brother just peed on the floor in the other bathroom...kinda ruins the relaxation factor right?

My only salvation is that the kids go back to school on August 16. That is 19 days from now....just under 3 weeks...456 hours....27,360 minutes...yeah I know...it's a LONG time when you think about it that way.....but I keep telling myself every morning when I wake up that if I can just make it til 9pm(that's bedtime for the kids now since I am trying to get them back into their school bedtime routine) without killing anyone that day will be over and I will be one more day down...Not a truly healthy mindset but then again who the hell has all healthy and pure thoughts anyways....nobody that I know..

So there it is...that's where my head's at...if you identify with me....good....if not....sorry....

Blogging...And The Joy That Comes From It..Edited and Updated

2006-07-28T17:40:00.000-05:00

I was doing some random thinking today about blogging...

My husband doesn't understand the need I have to blog...and he doesn't understand the need to read other people's blogs..I have tried my best to explain it using my voice in speaking to him...but I am not good at that so I thought maybe I would try to write how I feel about it..

Where blogs are concerned it is an outlet for me...a way for me to get my feelings and thoughts that float around in my skull out where I can process them and they can be processed by others..

I would much rather write an email to someone than talk to them on the phone...usually because I cannot get the words in my head into sentences to speak...Don't' know if that makes much sense..but I can always get my feelings on paper, or on a computer screen..it's just the nature of who I am..I can't do anything about it..nor do I wish to..I am not sorry about it..nor do I feel guilty because of it...

Everyone is different...one man's paradise is another man's hell...this is the way it is with me and Bart...he hates to write, read, type do anything having to do with words...yet he is in the sign business...which is ALL words... His special talent is with Machines...you know the ones that spew out smoke, and engine grease...big hillbilly trucks, and old jeep willy's wagons...that's what he loves...I love words...I find a special comfort in writing and reading...I am sure he feels the same about his Machines...

I, on the other hand LOVE to read, write, type, but can hardly stand to be on the phone...or generally "talk" to people...I think if I have something to say to someone I would do much better writing it to them in a letter or email...I find it much easier to convey what I am thinking and what is going on in my head in this type of medium...When I am on the phone my thoughts seem to be scattered and unorganized...yet when I go to write them down..they flow freely and without hindrance..

So there it is...why I love to blog...I could never sit in front of someone and "tell" them about my day...I would do a much better job of getting my point across in written format...with the use of verbs, adjectives, nouns and the like....I enjoy painting pictures with words...

The Demon That Is...Myspace

2006-07-28T11:21:00.000-05:00

For the past couple of days I have witnessed the decline of one of my favorite networking sites on the net. Myspace has had so many glitches the last couple of days that I am considering leaving for good.
One minute you can log in and see your home page...the next minute you get an error message that says your account has been deleted...and the next you cannot log in at all...it's ridiculous. But what's even more ridiculous is that it even makes me mad at all...I mean come on...it's myspace for chrissake....
And I spend entirely too much time there....so maybe in a way it's a good thing that it goes down...therefore I will not be so inclined to WASTE so much time on there....
I will admit the homepages are cool...music..pictures...cool layouts...but in all truth and honesty I can do the same thing here...and Blogger is WAY more stable...
So...for now...this is my new homepage...and maybe when Myspace grows up and gets back to being stable and usable again I will resume with my addiction..but for now I have way more productive things to do with my time...

Coming Back To Blogger

2006-07-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Well after several days of Myspace being a total asshole about logging in and getting to my blog and reading other blogs I have given up and come back to Blogger...

So what's been up with me? Not a lot...it's been a LONG summer...and Stressful one...but for the most part I have survived and today is actually a good day...(go figure that one)

I am going to be spending the next couple of weeks getting the kids closets and dresser drawers ready for the coming school year, as well as pre-registering them for school, and procuring school supplies and school clothes...so it's gonna be pretty busy for the next couple of weeks..but that's ok...

I look forward to the kids going back to school so I can get back to my regular gym and diet routine...it's been very hard to stay motivated this summer as far as all of that goes...

So...what's up with my readers? (if you haven't deserted me)

Cat

Slipping Under The Clouds

2006-05-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

I have watched as the clouds of depression have begun to slip over me...it has been slowly happening for the last 5 days....

I began this summer with an optimistic attitude where the kids were concerned...I was going to buy memberships to the zoo, space center, and the museums so we could get out and do things....and then reality hit...my kids simply CANNOT behave in public(what am I saying...they can't even behave at home..) It has reached a point that I dread even taking them out to restaurants or to the store...

And then there is the money issue....it looks like we are doomed to spend the entire summer completely broke...which means no memberships....I don't know why I am surprised...this happens every summer...but I for some reason hoped that this summer would be different...I thought the kids would magically behave because they wanted to get out and go places...I thought that we would be able to afford to go places...but I was wrong...Apparently we will now stay stuck in this house for the next 11 weeks until school starts...driving each other bananas....Yay for us...

Bring on the prozac...

Cat

Monday Update:

2006-05-15T08:43:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's monday....not my most favorite day of the week but it is ok..

I am on day 3 of the patch: AGAIN....(this time hopefully I can stick with it...but today is going to be hard..I can already tell)

I have got a ton of stuff to do today...Laundry, cleaning the kids rooms, cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, sweeping and mopping...

Mother's day was OK....not stupendous...but ok..

Will post more on that later..

Gotta get to work..

Peace Out.

Cat

Be Sure To Check Out My Other Blogs...

2006-05-09T16:27:00.000-05:00

My Myspace Blog: The Awakening Of Me

Hopefully one day I will be able to just blog in one place..LOL. (* But the ADD won't let me*)

Peace Out,

Cat

Saturday Evening Post

2006-05-06T19:32:00.000-05:00

So...today was pretty good...

I didn't get any cleaning done but I didn't plan on doing any this weekend anyways..

We are about to go and eat at the Slop Trough...(Ryans Family Steakhouse..A buffet of fattening meat and starchy vegetables and yeast rolls...such a wonderful place for a Vegan to eat at..) I will survive though...they do have a salad bar and plenty of cooked broccoli and cabbage usually..Just goes to show you that a Vegetarian can make a meal just about anywhere as long as they have salad..

So I am going to go for now and get the kids ready to go...Maybe I will post more before bed..

Cat

Synopsis of my Blog...

2006-05-06T13:15:00.000-05:00

My little sister Esther sent me a link to a site where you could type in the URL of your blog and it would spit out a word cloud that was like a brief synopsis of what your site was...interesting..
So I went there and did it...this is what I got...
Cool I think..
I did change a few of the words...only the ones that were really dumb and meaningless..

Up and Running Again

2006-05-06T12:48:00.000-05:00

So I was mulling through the program list on my computer...and found my Zoundry Blog Writer program..

As most of you know I had deleted this blog a while back due to some stupid personal anger issues.

Fortunately I had all of my posts backed up in Zoundry and my whole template..

So I went into my blogger account and signed up for the same url again...and republished all of the posts to the site...it was so easy!!

So now I am back in business!!

So this will be my alternate blog again...I am so happy..

Cat

Ahh Spring...

2006-03-18T15:10:00.000-06:00

Not two weeks ago everything was dead...now it is all green and alive again..I love this time of year...Now if the Hummingbirds would just come back everything would be right with the world again...

How would you like to wake up and see this outside of your kitchen window every morning?

I will never again be a "city girl".....Bask in the greenness.......Awesome....

It's Friday!

2006-03-17T18:50:00.000-06:00

Well Happy St. Patty's Day everyone!! Are you going to go and have some green beer?? The closest thing to green I will be having today is the lettuce and cucumbers in my salad tonight...But I am a Coonass and not Irish so that is ok.....

Yes....it is Friday....It has been a very long week...I am glad it is nearly over...The kids will go back to school on Monday..which will be a very nice change of pace for me...Then I can get back to my Gym regimen...hopefully now that I am following the Abs Diet it will show some results..

The eating plan is not so bad...6 small meals a day spaced about 3 hours apart...centered around what they call the 12 power foods....of course you are not limited to these foods but they should make up the majority of your diet...I had a Clif Bar, Protein shake, Salad, some lean chicken breast, and oatmeal, so far today...For dinner I plan to eat some more Salad and some special 12Veggie soup I made several months ago that is in the freezer.(Will post the recipe later at the end of this post)..Later tonight I may have some Yogurt for something sweet..I have not felt deprived all day..which is a welcome change from me usually eating two meals a day and feeling hungry all the time..

So far this weekend is looking pretty good...Bart has finished most of his BIG jobs for the week and now we get to collect the money..which is my favorite part...We should get some time this weekend to just sit back and relax for a little while....

Anyways..Here is the Veggie Soup Recipe..

Catherine's Veggie Soup(Adapted from the Weight Watchers Garden Vegetable Soup Recipe)

Two Large Bottles Organic Tomato Juice Or Vegetable Juice Blend

2 Zucchinnis(Organic)

2 Yellow Squash(Organic)

1 head of garlic(Peeled and chopped)

1 yellow onion chopped

1 red onion chopped

1 bag of organic baby carrots, sliced

2 cans of organic stewed tomatoes

1 can of organic sweet peas

1 can of organic yellow corn

1 can organic garbanzo beans

1 bag of spiral whole wheat pasta

Salt and pepper and other spices to taste..

Saute` the onions and garlic in a small amount of olive oil until see through...

Add on vegetable juice and bring to a boil

Add the zucchinni and squash and carrots and simmer until nearly cooked....dump in the canned veggies and the whole wheat pasta..simmer until the pasta is al dente...

That's it!! It is very filling with some good crusty multigrain bread fresh out of the bread machine...

You can substitute pretty much any vegetables ou like...sometimes I put cabbage in it which makes it especially filling...and since it freezes well I make it in large batches and then put it in ziploc containers in the freezer and eat it whenever I want...Since I am the only one in the house who will touch it with a ten foot pole there is always plenty for me!

Anyways..I am off to cook dinner..

Cya,

Cat

@#&#$@&!!!!!!!(Edited)

2006-03-14T18:38:00.000-06:00

Ok so let's get one damn thing straight....Who the hell is this SPRING BREAK supposed to be for?? I mean pardon me but it certainly isn't a break for me....and the kids...well why do 6 and 8 year olds need a break?? I have been one giant ball of stress since I picked them up from school on Friday...and trust me this is not my fault...it is because I have two 6 year old boys(..yes twins)and one 8 year old boy ...if it's not one thing it's another...and to top it all off Bart is not going to have one single day off during the whole 9 day stretch....Joy...so guess who will be stuck in the house for 9 days straight with 3 severely overactive boys...You guessed it right...ME!!!

The kids have already driven me to tears twice today....It wouldn't be so bad if they would just do ONE thing I asked them to do...help me pick up all their toys...but instead they have successfully destroyed what small part of the house I had cleaned already...(Sorry Mom and Jack but the house is just going to be messy...cause I GIVE UP!!!)

(Begin Edited Paragraph)

Now don't get me wrong...I love my kids dearly and love spending time with them...But 9 days straight 24/7 with 3 extremely active boys is enough to drive anyone crazy...I would give anything for maybe a two hour "me time" break in there every other day...to fit in a workout...or a bubble bath...whatever..I am sure I am not the only mother that feels this way...So being judged for showing stress on a blog is just wrong..(you know who you are) This is my arena..MY page to put MY feelings on...NOBODY has the right to judge me for what I write here or tell me that my feelings are wrong or unjust..Walk a day or two in my shoes and I am sure you will feel the same way...To comment that I must not love my kids or want to be with them is preposterous...I am just an overstressed mother who needs to vent from time to time..So there...It's out in the open now...

(end edited Paragraph)

And then there is Prissy...my no tailed calico cat that is fiercely in heat that puked on my bed today...GROSS!! So basically I feel like I am going insane...between the one cat who pees on stuff and the one cat who pukes on stuff...I just can't catch a break...

Guess I just needed to vent....

Cat

Damnit!!!

2006-03-14T07:12:00.000-06:00

Well I had to cancel my appointment with my trainer this morning at the gym....Aaron is worse today than he has been all week..I am starting to wonder if it is really allergies or something more serious...So it looks like I will be taking him to the doctor today instead of working out with my trainer...Bummer...Today will be day 5 since I have been to the gym...which means it will be like starting all over again when I do finally get to go back which will apparently not be until next monday....wonder how much weight I will gain between now and then? Not to mention that it is a wonderful stress reliever to work out...so I guess I will be double stressed this week with the kids home and no workouts...

Oh well..Guess that's the way the cookie crumbles..

Cat

General Bitchiness....

2006-03-13T09:51:00.000-06:00

Ok so today I am bitchy....don't really know what is going on...maybe it is PMS maybe just tiredness...I have so much to do and don't know where to start...ever had one of those days?? I bet you have...

Anyways..Just wanted to get that off my chest..

Cat

Monday...YAY...

2006-03-13T08:16:00.000-06:00

So it's Monday morning....

I am trying to decide what time I want to go to the gym today...I know I need to go since it has been 4 days since I went..otherwise it will be like starting all over again the next time I go...

I have a training appointment in the morning with Meagan...I am going to bring my Abs Diet workout book and have her teach me some of the exercises in there...

Today I am going to work some more on the house and try to get the cat pee out of the futon...

So now you're wondering how cat pee got on the futon to begin with...well..we have a cat named Oscar that for some reason likes to pee on clothes or blankets....usually he is not allowed in the house but Bart let him in yesterday for just a little while...I had clothes folded on the futon and he peed on the clothes...Thank God I had a really thick waterproof mattress pad on there so I just had to throw that away but now I have to wash all the clothes a few times that he peed on...and make sure that none of it soaked through..to the mattress...I do have some Simple Solution though so if it did I can get it all out..

So that is my day in a nutshell today..

Catch ya later..

Cat

Sunday Update....

2006-03-12T18:23:00.000-06:00

Today has been rather productive...

Here is what I have done so far...

1. Filled hummingbird feeders...( I cannot wait for them to come back and grace us with their beauty!)

2. Filled bird feeders on porch..

3. Moved grill to where it is supposed to be....now I just need to clean it good so we can start using it again..

4. Totally cleaned and dusted the living room..

5. Trimmed and watered all the plants on the porch..

6. Started on cleaning the kitchen..

Shawn and Rebecca are coming tonight with their kids to visit so I am trying to get the house all clean for them...Plus Sadie and Jack(my step-mother and her boyfriend) are coming to visit(I hope) on Friday so I want to have the house all clean for them too...

So here is what is left to finish before Friday:

Clean the kitchen from top to bottom

Clean both bathrooms from top to bottom

Clean both of the kids bedrooms totally.

Totally dust and vacuum the entire house

Finish and put away all the laundry..

I have my work cut out for me...especially since it is spring break and the kids are out of school which means that each room that I clean will be trashed in a matter of minutes...(why do I even bother?)

So there it is...in a nutshell..

Awesome New Music Artist

2006-03-10T20:23:00.000-06:00

Eye To The Telescope

This you have to check out....The Big Black Horse and A Cherry Tree song rocks!!

Cat

Spring Break...

2006-03-10T20:21:00.000-06:00

Well today was the last official day of school for the kids for a week. I am trying to make the best of it though...I have planned a Bowling Day with Tina and her kids...and a Park day with Tina and her kids...I am not sure how much I will be able to get to the gym this next week due to the fact that the kids will be home during my usual gym time..

Aaron is really sick too...which will have a great affect on what happens next week for us. Some kind of severe hayfever thing..YUCK.

Anyways...I am off to do dishes and switch clothes from washer to dryer..Will post more later on

Cat

Thank God It's Friday!!

2006-03-10T07:25:00.000-06:00

The kids have school pictures today so right now I am in a mad rush to get clothes washed for them and get them bathed...Fun Fun.

Aaron will be staying home today due to the fact that his eyes are glued shut and he has a terrible cough...sounds like severe allergies to me...I gave him two teaspoons of benadryl last night and he was asleep before an hour was up...I think I will go and get him some children's allergy meds today...

I needed a day off from the gym anyways...I am feeling a little run down...all this hard exercise five days a week has taken a toll on me...plus I am frustrated that I am seeing no results... I did talk to another trainer yesterday and he said that once my body was used to all this it would drop the weight...it is confused right now and doesn't know what is happening so it is holding on to the weight to protect itself...once it gets used to the activity it will drop the weight....

I got some books yesterday that I think will help a lot though...The ABS diet and the two companions The Abs Diet Eat Right Every Time Guide and The Abs Diet Git Fit Stay Fit Plan...I already read all three of them cover to cover...(yes I am a speed reader) I will post more on the program later when I have more time...But let's just say I think this will really help me lose the weight...(And see my abs again for the first time in about 10 years!!)

Off to get the kids ready for school..

Cat

Texas Politics.....

2006-03-09T06:31:00.000-06:00

So we are up for election of a new Governor for TX. I have been checking out the candidates websites...I found the guy I am voting for!!!

Kinky Friedman For Governor of Texas

Check out his site...Given all the other ultra conservative repiglican assholes that are running....he is the best choice....GO KINKY!!!! (I can't help but snicker when I read that...LOL)

Back to my morning Java..

Cat

Good Morning

2006-03-09T06:10:00.000-06:00

It is Thursday..

My wonderful son Aaron woke us all up at 5 with the playstation....apparently he and Christian started out on the Leapster and then decided that was boring so they moved on to the Playstation..(I guess I have to start unhooking it from the TV when we go to bed)

Anyways, I am going to the Gym again today...I have been going pretty much 5 days a week for the past 3 weeks and I have not lost any weight and as a matter of fact I have gotten bigger...So could someone explain to me how you can work out two hours a day 5 days a week and gain weight and get bigger?? I mean I am now a larger, harder version of my former self...when what I wanted was to be smaller and smoother...Oh well..My trainer says that eventually it will kick in and I will see results.(.then she said all of the usual things.Muscle weighs more than fat...blah blah blah..)My metabolism is screwed up from all the crash diets and starving myself and up and down with the weight and all...I didn't put these 30 pounds on in 3 weeks and I shouldn't expect to get them off that fast either..

We have a bad line of Thunderstorms headed our way...So I have to get going with the kids baths and stuff in case we lose power when it gets here..(we are under a tornado watch right now) I think I need to wash a load of clothes too so they have clothes to wear...Off to have more coffee and stuff...Will write more later on..

Cat

Awww...Bask in the sweetness...

2006-03-08T17:56:00.000-06:00

From an email I recieved today:

WHY HUMANS LIVE LONGER THAN DOGS

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old
Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife,
Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to
Belker and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the
family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to
perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it
would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the
procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from
the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog
for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going
on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The
little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any
difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud
about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next
stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a
good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice,
right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how
to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the
rest to God.

Something You HAVE to see!!

2006-03-06T18:22:00.000-06:00

I got an email today...Enjoy..

This is Google getting their views out before getting a gag order.

FYI: You probably shouldn't access this at work since it is a song with the word asshole in it....

In what is a not too subtle dig at Bush's subpoena of their search records, Google is getting
their own nasty dig at 'W' before the gag orders go into effect.

I don't know how long this will work, but go to www.google.com
and type in the search word: asshole

Then hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button right below the Search.

I have to admit I absolutely admire Google's nerve.

------------------------
"Trying to eliminate Saddam… would have incurred incalculable human and
political costs… We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect,
rule Iraq… There was no viable 'exit strategy' we could see, violating
another of our principles. Furthermore, we had been consciously trying to
set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-Cold War world. Going in
and occupying Iraq… would have destroyed the precedent of international
response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion
route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a
bitterly hostile land. George Bush Sr., "A World Transformed (1998).

__________________________________________________

A Rant About Myspace.Com

2006-03-05T10:29:00.000-06:00

Ok so I joined myspace a while back and so far it is nothing but teenagers searching for booty who can't spell correctly...WTF??

When did the english language get so destroyed....If I see another word interspersed with hearts, or heartagrams or a mixture of upper and lowercase but still spelled wrong I will scream!! Surely these people don't actually write like this in school....and why would I waste my time loading a myspace profile that takes ten forevers due to all the stupid graphics and music that has to load..and lets not forget the horrid choices of colors that make them nearly impossible to read.....Keep it simple idiots...I don't care who your favorite band is....nor do I give two shits about all your other teenage drama queen friends..

I cannot tell you how many people i have rejected as friends on myspace...it is really ridiculous...I got on there mostly for my brother and sister and step mom and a couple of other friends...plus there are some really cool local bands who have pages on there that I visit...not bad...but not worth all the other tramps and sluts you have to deal with to get to it...I cannot tell you how many girls and guys between the ages of 16-23 have asked me to add them as a friend...and why?? So I have to deal with your little slutty drama?? No thanks....Don't drag me into your crap...I don't care now...and I never will care who screwed who this weekend and where..And I really don't care if you like peanut butter and oreos...I mean really...does the entire world need this information to survive??

Ok getting off my soapbox now...

Cat

Saturday...

2006-03-04T18:45:00.000-06:00

Well today has been a rather relaxing day...

I spent the entire day outside with the kids...now we are back inside and I am noticing that I have a touch of sunburn...Go figure..a sunburn in March...

Anyways...I have to figure out now what I am cooking for dinner..should be interesting since I have nothing in the freezer...Ramen noodles for dinner?? Maybe..

Gotta get going,

Cat

Random Thoughts on Parenting....

2006-03-04T13:22:00.000-06:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about parenting styles...I know everyone has their own...

I was raised in a very strict household...I don't even remember having a date until I had moved out of the house at 17...(Not to say I didn't sneak around at school with boys...but for the most part I was pretty straight and pure until I moved out of the house)

I have started thinking about how I will handle this situation with my boys when they are older...Austin is 8 and already has a girlfriend at school..I find notes in his backpack all the time...it is so cute..He is still at the phase where he thinks girls are kinda yucky but he likes this girl and so they write cute notes back and forth...his usually have flames and hearts on them and hers have hearts and rainbows...ahh puppy love...

Aaron who is 6 "claims" to have a girlfriend in 5th grade...LOL

Personally it scares the crap out of me to think of my boys dating....If I had it my way they would be locked up until they were done with college and could support themselves(and any illigitimate children they may have..) but I can't do that so now I have to start thinking about what I will say to them to make them be "smart" when it comes to girls and you know the birds and the bees...

I learned about the birds and the bees from a filmstrip and pamphlet in school in health class...I do not want my boys to learn about it that way...but even thinking of the words to say gives me the heebie jeebies...and I fear what Bart will say if I leave it up to him....mainly because he and I were raised so differently and I am not sure of how he learned about all that stuff...should make good conversation later though when I ask..LOL

I guess all I can do is do what I feel is right in my heart and hope for the best...I think kids are a reflection of their parents...If you raise them to know right from wrong...and teach them morals..and train them to have good character then you should be ok...but I have recently learned that is not a guarantee....there are other outside influences too...and I guess the best way to handle that is to sort of filter the friends and acquaintances that your kids have..a lot can be going on right under your nose and you don't even see it...

In the end it is not my job to be my kids friend....I am their mother...You cannot be both...I have told Austin that many times...of course I would love for them to feel like they can always come to me to talk but when red flags are raised there will be reactions on my part...I think that is part of the problem with some of the parents in the world today....they are too busy trying to be their kids friends.....they are afraid to parent the kids for fear the kids will be "mad" at them.....Personally I could care less if one of my kids gets mad at me...at the end of the day my kids know that I love them...and they are well cared for....and when they are grown they will thank me for the structure and limits they had set on them as kids...it will be what shapes and molds their character...

Just remember....if you don't shape their character someone else will....and there's a good chance it won't be the type of influence you want in the long run...

I know you can't put kids under glass for their whole life....I shudder to think of how much more stressed I would be with 3 daughters...now that thought just gives me chills...

I don't envy anyone who has to raise a daughter in these days and times....Gimme a smelly old boy any day...

Ok well enough rambling...Just wanted to put that out there...Any comments????

Cat

An Update....

2006-03-03T16:35:00.000-06:00

The past week has flown by like a blur...

My little sister and brother Esther and Levi came to visit me for a week. They got here on Thursday of last week and I dropped them at the bus station this morning at around 7..(well that was what time I left the station after they got on the bus...we actually got to the station at around 5:30am) We had a great week...(well mostly....Just kidding Levi..)I was kinda sad driving away...I wish we could have done more for fun...We did however get to take a tour next door at the wildlife refuge...and I think they really enjoyed that...and we all became addicted to the Sims 2...(Thanks Esther..Wink Wink)

Like I said...it seems like a blur when I think back on it...There was however lots of good conversation and I think Esther and I really bonded..You know the sister/sister kinda bond...She rocks....and she actually told me I rocked too when I was leaving them at the station...Aww...Cool!! Who would have ever thought little old me the hardass...no fun havin..30 year old mama would have ever had some one tell her she rocked...I was touched..

I have been up since 4am this morning and now the words on the screen are starting to melt together...therefore I think it is time for me to say goodbye for now and post more later on when I am fully conscious...now that I am reading this it sounds like gibberish...(well what do you expect after 4 hours of sleep??)

BTW..Levi...you left a large bag of green day stickers and silvertide stickers in my car...I will drop them in the mail to you sometime this weekend...

Love you guys and I hope you had fun..

Off for a nap now..

Cat

Wednesday Update...

2006-02-22T20:33:00.000-06:00

Sorry I didn't get to post yesterday..

Yesterdays work out at the gym was great...another 700 calories burned...did Cardio followed by lower body and abs..then on to the Sauna..then stretching..I felt so awesome afterwards..

Today's workout was Cardio followed by Upper body and abs...No sauna...but I did stretch and I feel awesomer(is that a word?) today!!

I was hoping to have the house spotless by tomorrow but apparently that is not going to happen...it's ok though..

Tomorrow Esther and Levi are coming..I am picking them up from the bus around 11:45..then taking them to lunch and then coming home.

I am planning on hitting the Gym first thing after dropping the kids off tomorrow and then going directly to get them...

I am going back to clean some more....Will update again tomorrow..

Cat

Monday Update...

2006-02-20T18:18:00.000-06:00

Today's workout at the Gym was awesome!! I burned nearly 700 calories!! YEAH!!

Gold's Gym Rocks!!

I am an addict...Tina and I almost went back for a second round after lunch..LOL..

The trainer even showed me some stretches to loosen up my legs...and guess what??? I have never been able to touch my toes standing with my feet together...I CAN TOUCH MY TOES NOW!!!!

I am a very happy woman...I would highly recommend this Gym to anyone who wanted to get in excellent physical condition...I wore my Polar Chest Strap that goes with my Mio Heart Rate watch...all of the machines for cardio picked up my strap and showed it on the screen and calculated my calorie burn automatically...SWEET!!!

I can't wait to go back tomorrow after my dentist appointment....

Bart will be home in a couple of hours....I cannot wait to see him...

I told Tina today that when he got home he wouldn't be able to pry me off with a crowbar!! She laughed...

Ok...well I am off to make dinner for the kids and finish picking up the house...

Laters,

Cat

Whatever!!

2006-02-20T08:21:00.000-06:00

How many wives do you think still do all this??

Monday...A New Day...

2006-02-20T06:57:00.000-06:00

Well believe it or not I actually did sleep last night...I am amazed at how much better sleep can make a person feel. That and the fact that the kids are going to school today..

I actually slept from before 10pm until 6am....that is a whole 8 hours...I feel great this morning..Can't wait to go to the gym today and work out my frustrations..I can't wait for my friend Tina to get here...Adult conversation is golden...

Well, My coffee pot just beeped which means it is finished brewing...I am off to caffeinate myself and get my day started..

Hugs to all,

Cat

Day From Hell...

2006-02-19T20:55:00.000-06:00

Well it has been the Day From Hell....Scroll down to see why...I am glad it is over..

I just spoke to Bart and he is 10 minutes from his destination in Arkansas..I am so glad he made it there in mostly one piece...Now if he can just survive the drive home.

I am wiped out and ready to go to bed...Unfortunately that is not going to happen because my wonderful redheaded son peed in his shoes so now I have to wash them and dry them so he can wear them to school tomorrow...(Hear the joy in my voice??)

So now I am off to get some laundry started and then I am laying down and going nite nite on the couch in the living room with the shotgun close by....Sasha is sleeping inside with me tonight as well as the cats.. Hopefully I will actually sleep...

I hate it when Bart is gone at night..I am constantly on edge...I can't even sleep in the bed...it feels too big and empty...I have no idea how I would ever live without him..I told him today that if anything ever happened to him they might as well bury me with him..I would never recover...

Anyways..I am off to wash clothes..

See you all tomorrow..

Cat

Our Wrecked Truck

2006-02-19T16:05:00.000-06:00

Bart sent me some pics of his truck after the accident....
Here they are..

What's Going On This Week For Me....

2006-02-19T12:59:00.000-06:00

Monday: My first personal training session at Gold's Gym...This will be a standing appointment Monday-Friday at 10am..My goal is to look totally Baddddd Asssss by the summer...buff and toned...I am going with my friend Tina...we are going to both work out together Monday Wednesday an Friday at the Gym...After the Gym thingy we are going to come home and eat rabbit food and catch up on our soaps on the DVR from last week...

Tuesday: Going to the dentist at 11 to have the implants checked...Then to the Gym....

Wednesday: To the Gym...then home to clean and prepare for Esther and Levi who are going to come into town on Thursday morning. (I can't wait to see them...has been way too long)

Thursday: Gym...going early in the morning and then to weight watchers...then to take the kids to school..then picking up Esther and Levi from the bus and then taking them to a lunch date I have with a couple of girlfriends...We are eating at Dixie's Bayou Victuals...a really awesome cajun place here in Conroe...(To Esther and Levi: I know you guys get to eat Cajun all the time but it has been forever for me so you will have to bear with me just this once pretty please?:) )

Friday: Gym at 10ish and then home to shower and the rest of the day is totally not planned....

That's my week in a nutshell.....

Should be a good week...I just hope this trainer doesn't murder me like I have a tendency to do to myself...

I am a sneaky sneaky woman!!

2006-02-19T12:46:00.000-06:00

My kids will not touch vegetables at all...I am lucky they will eat applesauce for fruit...

Well I found this new juice made by V8 called V Fusion...it is strawberry banana and tastes wonderful...and get this...one one 8 ounce serving it contains one whole serving of fruits and one whole serving of vegetables..AWESOME!!

http://www.v8juice.com/fusion.aspx Here is a link to check out...

Peace out..Back to cleaning,

Cat

Damn It!!

2006-02-19T11:09:00.000-06:00

So Bart is on his way to Arkansas...so he called me a little while ago and told me he had a wreck near Dallas. Apparently it is icy and sleeting up there and the guy next to him on 45 did about 4 spins and then went in front of Bart sideways and then Bart T-Boned him...No major damage to the truck and Bart is ok but still scared the crap out of me nonetheless. The grill is messed up and the hood is crinkled and one of the headlights is damaged but the truck is still driveable...and would you believe he is still going to continue on to Arkansas? I told him to turn back and come on home but he insisted that he would be fine...I certainly hope so...I certainly hope so...

And this after he passed a wreck scene with big blood splatter on the windshield...Shit...I hope he makes it ok and gets home safely to me...

Cat

My new wish list item...

2006-02-19T08:39:00.000-06:00

Creative Zen Vision 30 GB Multimedia Player White

Ok so here is the story on this thing...I already have a 60GB iPod that is nearly full. I also have a subscription to Rhapsody which is not compatible with my iPod. So my sister recently purchased one of these and it is compatible with subscription Rhapsody To Go. So I am seriously Considering purchasing one of these just for the subscription music I can fill it with. Of course being the techno geek that I am I would still use both..one for music I actually own and one for music that is "borrowed" so to speak. I wou ld get the white one since it is matching to the iPod I have plus I have heard the earbuds that come with it suck so I want to use the iPod earbuds with it which are white so they will match the white player better..Plus my sister has the black one and this way we will be able to tell them apart..SO that's that....

3 Strange Days-Todays Song...An Oldie..

2006-02-19T07:46:00.000-06:00

3 Strange Days- School Of Fish

For three strange days
I had no obligations
My mind was a blur
I did not know what to do
I think I lost myself
When I lost my motivation
Now I'm walking 'round the city
Just waiting to come to
For three strange...

For three strange days
I couldn't put a smile on my face
So they dressed me up in all of their clothes
And took me somewhere else
Johnny Clueless was there
With his simulated wood grain
So I pulled up a chair
And started drinking by myself
For three strange...

I've got to make it through
No matter what it takes
Oh I've got to make it through
These strange days

I lay down for a while
And I woke up on the ocean
Floating on my back
And staring at the gray
It was completely still
Except the pounding of my heart
Bringing me back to life
From three strange days
Three strange...
Three strange days
Three strange days

Godspeed..and Be Safe....

2006-02-19T06:31:00.000-06:00

Well, Bart just got on the road to go to Arkansas. I am worried sick about him traveling in ice and snow up there....(everyone who reads this please say a quick prayer for his safety) (oh and for the weirdos who may read this and think that I am alone...I have a loaded 12gauge shotgun and 3 very protective dogs...you don't have a chance plus you would have to get past a few hungry tigers next door...not such a good idea)

Anyways...I haven't gotten much done from my weekend list...I got the grocery shopping done and got the groceries put away and that was about it..and given the terrible weather today it looks like me and the boys will be housebound today so I should be able to get quite a bit of cleaning done...

I am going to go and drink my coffee and wake up and watch infomercials..(yes I am an infomerical addict)

Peace Out,

Cat

Happy Birthday Karen!!

2006-02-18T08:26:00.000-06:00

Today is my sister Karen's birthday!! Happy birthday little sis....and remember..No matter how old you get I will always be older!! LOL

Love ya!!

Cat

Happy Weekend Everyone!!

2006-02-18T08:24:00.000-06:00

Hey all,

It is Saturday morning in the Clickarosa...I have been up since shortly after 6am. Not sure why but I just snapped awake and was ready for coffee...

I have lots to do this weekend and seeing as how the weather is going to suck all weekend I doubt we will be going anywhere..

My Weekend Goals:

1. Make grocery list (done already)

2. Go to the grocery store

3. Finish all the laundry

4. Dust the entire house

5. Vacuum the entire house

6. Clean both bathrooms..

7. Scrub the kitchen floor

Well that is my list for the weekend.

I gotta go get started..I will update you as to how it is going..

Cat

Friday...

2006-02-17T17:16:00.000-06:00

So it's friday...

Big Whoop...

It has been a hellatious day today..Bart and I had a huge screenprint job this morning that was pretty stressful.

After that I hauled butt to the Woodlands to have lunch with my sister and mom. It was a good meal. Eli is getting so big..and cute..he laughed for me today...(I think I am his favorite aunt)

Anyways I gotta go make dinner will update more tomorrow when I am not completely exhausted..

Cat

Thursday Update...

2006-02-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

So today my mouth hurts pretty bad...I had trouble sleeping last night due to the discomfort..

I am sitting here just chillin listening to Audioslave....awesome..

I have a lot of housework to do today so I probably won't be posting much..

Tomorrow I am going to the Woodlands to have lunch with my mom and sister...

I will write more later on when I have a chance..

Cat

Wednesday...Yep Humpday Again..

2006-02-15T09:10:00.000-06:00

Today should be interesting...

I have a dentist appointment in two hours...I am having two holes cut in my gums to install two implants...Yay..sounds like fun huh??

Our hot water heater blew up last night...another wonderful thing..you get a whole 3 minutes to jump in now and wash your hair and body...and then the water goes to ice...i'm serious..

I need a vacation..

Let me run down the list of all the broke shit in my house...

1. icemaker: this broke right after hurricane Rita came through and knocked out our power for 5 days...

2. Washing machine: not really broken..but still not right..makes terrible noises when it is agitating that make it impossible to use after the kids go to bed..

3. Master Garden Tub: Got pulled out after a large rat died under it..still is not fully hooked up and usable after nearly 3 months..

4. And now the Hot Water Heater..

Wonder what else could go wrong?? I wish I could win the lottery...then we would build my dream house...a Monolithic Dome Home we would have solar power, and collect our rain water for gardening etc..it would be the shizznittt..then there would be no more worries as these things are fire proof, hurricane and tornado proof...A good thing if you live in the gulf coast area..especially given what all happened last year..

Oh well..back to reality..which is lots of broke shit...hey I have kids..people with kids are supposed to be broke...and have broke stuff..it is the nature of the beast..

Well I am off to get ready for the dentist(with cold water) YaY..NOT!

Cat

Ha Ha Look What I Found!!

2006-02-14T18:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2006-02-14T17:46:00.000-06:00

Just thought I would pop in to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's day!! I know it has been a couple of days since I have posted but things have been kinda crazy around here...

I am going to the dentist tomorrow to have my implants placed..YaY

I will get back to posting as soon as I have recovered from that..
Much love to all..
Cat

A Ryan's Rant....(Sort Of)

2006-02-11T20:04:00.000-06:00

Ok.....so we decided that we thought it may be fun to take the kids to Ryans for dinner since we hadn't been there in a week or two...So of course since it is Saturday night the place is packed...which is fine..So we are ushered to the back room with all the other rejects with kids and seated at a table next to a family I will describe further below.

This woman was probably hispanic or latino or whatever is PC to call them right now...she and her husband speak no english...they have about 7 kids between the ages of about 6 months and I would say 7....These kids are running all over the restaurant....Nobody is doing anything about it....

Here is what I am saying....If you have kids and you take them to restaurants have the respect for the other people who are paying to eat there too to keep control of your children. I have kids of my own and they are NEVER allowed to leave the table unsupervised at a restaurant...and they certainly do not bounce around from table to table asking for scraps...nor do they chase each other around all the tables and nearly cream the waiters... This is rude not only to the staff..but to the other people who have paid their hard earned money for a good meal..they should not have to share it with YOUR KIDS!!!!

OK I feel better now that that is off my chest..

Cat

Catwmn's Cranium

So...Do You Have Abandonment Issues Yet????

Today's Video..

Happy Humpday!!

Something I Think Everyone Should See...

The Inevitability of Aging...

It's There!!

My Pontiac Finally Bit The Dust...

Our Amazingly Wacky Trip...

Max Is Home Again

Is This Crap Really Working Or Not??

More Great Info on Burning Man...

My Next Vacation Will Be....

Incomplete: Kinda How I Feel Today

Breakfast Of Champions

The Responsible Frumpy Girl...

Oh What A Night

Update..

I Am Such A KLUTZ!!!

Weekend Update....

Wellbutrin Day 2...Wow!!

Welcome To Wellbutrinland....Population: Me...

Fibroids...

Warm Delights To The Rescue..

Gone Away....In Honor Of Today...

Two Years....

Stressed Out..

This Is My Song For Tha' Day....

I Finally Did It!!

Back By Popular Demand....

First Day Of Shool....

Oh MY GAWD!!! It's 80's Techno Day!!

If Only It Were That Easy...

48 Hours...

An Epiphany Of Sorts...

Almost Ready To Begin...

I Can See Clearly Now...

Intrigued but also Terrified..

Decluttering and Paring Down...

High Maintenance Bitches...

Remember That Nice Camera I Just Got??

Stay Away From Freakin' Spiders!!

Thank GOD It's Friday!!

For Some Reason I Can't Stop Listening To This Song...

Humpday Already!!

Photoblog from Yesterday's Photos

Digital Cameras...A Comparison..

A Clip From The New Camera..

Happy Monday Morning!!

Comparison...The Good...The Bad..And The Ugly...

The Gourds At Continental Club Houston TX

Chronic Exhaustion

Blogging...And The Joy That Comes From It..*Edited and Updated*

The Demon That Is...Myspace

Coming Back To Blogger

Slipping Under The Clouds

Monday Update:

Be Sure To Check Out My Other Blogs...

Saturday Evening Post

Synopsis of my Blog...

Up and Running Again

Ahh Spring...

It's Friday!

@#&*#$@&*!!!!!!!(Edited)

Damnit!!!

General Bitchiness....

Monday...YAY...

Sunday Update....

Awesome New Music Artist

Spring Break...

Thank God It's Friday!!

Texas Politics.....

Good Morning

Awww...Bask in the sweetness...

Something You HAVE to see!!

A Rant About Myspace.Com

Saturday...

Random Thoughts on Parenting....

An Update....

Wednesday Update...

Blogging...And The Joy That Comes From It..Edited and Updated

@#&#$@&!!!!!!!(Edited)